The bunnies are attacking
by ebsoryn
Summary: My current contribution to. . . oh god they're breeding. . .RUN FROM THE BUNNIES!  If you haven't figured it out from the first sentence, this is a bunch of one-shots that had to be exterminated from my mind.
1. Rabid Hermione

**Author's Note: This was inspired by one of the demons I call friends. You know who you are. It's a random plot bunny that had to be removed from my head before I killed it. This one shot will be dark and if the idea of mindless killing offends you, then maybe you shouldn't read it. You've been warned. I'm also fairly certain I haven't seen this plot line yet, although I'm very sheltered in my reading so correct me if I'm wrong.**

The hospital wing was too bright. The early morning light made her eyes burn as if she was staring into the sun. She preferred the night, no, she _loved_ the night. It was the night where she was free to be herself, to let the inner beast free. It didn't matter that innocent lives were being taken, just that the animal in her was satisfied. She had spent too long cooped up here.

Hermione Granger felt horrible. She had let Harry and Ron down. She screwed up the polyjuice and ended up as part cat. The worst part, on the way to the hospital wing, Mrs. Norris had bit her. That damn cat. Madam Pomfrey couldn't find anything wrong with the bite but Hermione would still have to remain in the hospital wing until she returned to normal. Normal, really _when have I ever been normal _she thought to herself. _I don't see why I can't go back to my dorm now. It's not like I can't come here every day to get the potion I need to turn myself back to my original looks._

"Madam Pomfrey, I need your assistance immediately." Severus Snape said as he raced into the hospital wing levitating the mutilated body of Pansy Parkinson.

"What is it Sev. . ." was all Pomfrey got out before she saw the poor girl. "What happened to her, Severus?"

"I don't know. I found her on the floor of her dorm in a pool of her own blood. Is there anything that can be done for her?" Severus was nervous and he had a right to be. He not only had to inform the Parkinson girl's parents, but if she was dead, he would have to inform Draco as well.

"She's been dead for hours Severus, the only thing I can do is to prepare her body for transport." Madam Pomfrey was horrified that such an act could occur inside of Hogwarts walls. The only thought she had was who could have done this?

Severus had a long night ahead of him. Telling the parents of that useless excuse for a witch that their daughter had been killed, and then Lucius and Draco that Draco's betrothed had been killed. Snape feared the latter the most.

Hermione woke in the morning of the hospital wing, a different set of robes on her and the faint traces of blood on her hands. As she stared at her hands, the memories of what she had done took over and she relived it and even more surprising, she found she liked it.

She had been waiting until Pomfrey had gone to bed before she slinked out of the Hospital wing. The cold night was refreshing to her and the darkness of the castle didn't matter as her eyes could see as if it were day. She couldn't say exactly how she knew where the Slytherin dormitories were in the dungeon, she just did. Her senses were on constant vigil, waiting for the slightest change to alert her to danger or her possible discovery. There was none. She made it to their common room door and inside without any challenge to her. She just had to find the pompous, pampered, pureblood bitch's dorm. It was almost eerie how easily her sense led her to Pansy's dorm room. It was also curious that all the Slytherins had their own dorms. It was almost a pity that they did, as it would have been more of a challenge to make sure the other future victim's didn't hear their dorm mate's demise. Really, it was such a waste not to kill them all now, but almost every Slytherin dropping dead in the middle of the night at once? That would be too risky, and she couldn't have that. No, better to wait in between kills, besides, it would give her new and old personalities time to mesh. She slowly walked into Pansy's dorm and quickly found the potions knife in Pansy's own potions kit. She had been prepared for this. She had gloves on so she wouldn't leave fingerprints. Stupid purebloods wouldn't investigate anything using a muggle method but it never hurt to be thorough. As she made her way over to Pansy's bed, her target began stirring. It was now or never, and she took her moment and struck, one hand over Pansy's mouth while the other drove the knife into Pansy's throat. As Pansy's eyes widened in fear, Hermione smirked and kept her hand over the pureblood princess's mouth and noise. Once she had passed out from lack of oxygen, Hermione rolled her off the bed and onto the floor. After all, it wouldn't do to have them find her looking like she had overslept. No, a message had to be sent. What better way to send a message to Draco that Harry was not to be bothered than kill Draco's girlfriend? Even if it didn't work, it still will psychologically mess with the rest of the snakes. Before Pansy could regain consciousness, Hermione pulled the knife from her throat and watched the blood spray from the artery. The first 30 seconds were the bloodiest, but it slowly settled, as the body ran out of blood to loose on the floor and walls. Hermione had a feral grin on her face as she slinked back to the hospital wing. She knew this side of her was being repressed until nightfall but it would only be a matter of time until it was embraced. The only thing that could cause any problems would be if Harry wouldn't want to be with her because of it. But that was another problem for another time.

**There, I finally got this out. It's been eating at my brain for months. Feel free to flame on. I don't really care. It was just something that wouldn't leave me alone. Back to working on The Bell tolls now. Hopefully. Stupid bunnies.**


	2. Death to Ponies

Some days, it sucked to be Harry Potter. He had fallen asleep in his dorm in Gryffindor Tower and now somehow awoken in the middle of a too bright orchard in the middle of Merlin knows where. Off in the distance he could see some kind of animal walking towards him. As it got closer he could make out that it looked like a horse, but not any horse that he'd ever seen before. It was a light orange sort of color with what looked like apples on its back haunch; and it wore a cowboy hat? The worst surprise was when it started talking.

"Hi I'm Applejack what are y… IT BURNS"

Harry had his wand out and had cast an incendio on complete reflex. He followed it up with a Reducto to the head. He felt strangely satisfied as a fine pink mist sprayed everywhere. He started to walk away and more of the same colored, ponies, horses, whatever they were, running towards him. He trained his wand and cast a Bombarda hex at the ground in the middle of their group and once again had that strange satisfaction as body parts rained around him. A word finally came to him to describe what he just killed, bronies. He didn't know why it felt right, but it did. As he wandered around the strangely colorful landscape another thing came flying at him, it was blue, with rainbow colored hair. Harry didn't even let it approach. He quickly charged a lightning arc spell and threw it at the incoming near projectile. As he saw the spell hit and quickly followed it up with the killing curse to end its suffering. He walked up and saw it looked like an Abraxan, but was too colorful and too small. At this point anything in this world was suspect to Harry.

As he was wondering just what the hell was going on he heard voices start screaming. He quickly disillusioned himself and silenced himself and crept over slowly to where he could hear them coming from. There were three smaller, horses?, whatever the hell they were, standing around the first thing's body that he killed. One was a sort of off white with reddish-pink hair, one was an orange-ish color with purple hair and stubby wings, and the third was white with pink and purple hair and a horn. He knew for sure it wasn't a unicorn and did not feel guilt about what he was going to do. From his position he started conjuring an acid cloud where the three, things, were and focused on making it big enough that they couldn't escape. As he finished his conjuring he watched, with sick satisfaction, that the three were slowly dying. It was painful, it was brutal, and it was satisfying destroying these abominations. As their whole bodies ended up as goo puddles on the ground Harry walked away keeping the charms on himself. He figured staying invisible and silent would let him get the hell away from here and figure out where here was exactly. He finally decided to just make camp for the rest of the day and night and try to figure things out tomorrow. He found some wood for a fire, set it up near a tree and quickly got it going with an incendio. After that he just sat leaning against the trunk of the tree and relaxed. It wasn't long before he was lightly dozing.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like something was staring at him. He cracked open one eye slightly and froze from shock. It was a gray pony with really messed up eyes. As soon as it saw he was awake it screamed "I like Muffins!" Reflexively calling the Sword of Gryffindor to him he swung and lopped the things head off. This place never ceased to creep him out and the sooner he could get home the better. He dozed back off hoping to finish sleeping before starting on figuring out where he was in relation to where his home universe was. Let's face it; Harry knew this was not the universe he was from. If it was, he would have heard of talking ponies and this kind of strange craziness. That and he would have been nailed for underage magic again. So he was nowhere near civilization, unlikely, or not in the right place in the Multi-verse ™. Several hours later he was woken again by the feeling of being watched. He opened both eyes and sure enough he was. Although it wasn't just one pony, no he couldn't be that lucky. It was six and none of them looked happy. He looked at each one's eyes with his fledgling legilimency skill and picked up their names: Twilight Sparkle, _Princess_ Celestia( but really, she was making it sound so much more important in her mind, narcissism at its finest), Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Luna. This Luna was different than the one he knew, thankfully. He might have felt guilty about what he was planning. While he was scanning them for their names, he had heard something about pay back, love and tolerate, bronies, it didn't matter. He was sick of this. He started by tracing a rune in the air for an illusion and went to work from there. The illusion made it seem as if he disappeared. The next rune he drew was for shielding in case one of them had the brilliant idea to charge into where he was. He was sick of this place. He just wanted to be back home. Hell he even missed the snoring beast that was Ron. The final Rune cluster he drew was a timed explosion preceded by ward walls to keep the damn things in and an anti-apparition, anti-portkey ward set to activate after he Apparated out of the area of effect. He wasn't taking any chances. He looked around and sighed before Apparating out. He sat down 500 meters away and waited to watch the chaos. The ones with wings tried to fly away only to realize they were trapped. Some lizard looking thing came up to Harry as the explosion was beginning to reach the point of no return and it started screaming in English and Parseltongue before running to the trapped ponies. Harry had made it one way warding in case something like this happened, he just didn't think it was going to be a lizard and not a pony that tried to save them. Oh well. He smiled as the explosion went off, vaporizing everything into a fine pink mist and leaving a crater at the center 20 meters wide by 10 deep. Harry felt extremely satisfied before everything started turning hazy and he was slowly appearing in his bed. He heard his name being called by Ron and looked out of his curtains and answered.

"Yeah Ron?" Harry was almost excited to see him. He was even more excited to be back at Hogwarts.

"Where the bloody hell have you been the last couple of days? The whole castle's been going spare looking for you?" Ron was near exhausted having not slept for those days, fearing for his best mate's life.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. Let's just say I skipped everything. I'll take the detentions." Harry was glad to be home and even gladder to see a certain bushy haired female.

**Author's Note: This hit me at work one night and refused to die. So here it is. I also have about half of the bell tolls written for the next chapter, it just appears my muse wants this to die a death of fire. I had to do research to write this. God my eyes, they burn. This came from a coworker and I trying to one up each other with really bad porn movie names and it somehow got to this. . . . . yup. . . . no idea. So now that this is done, The Bell Tolls should be next. **

**In the Immortal words of Johnny Storm: FLAME ON**


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